Not For Nothing
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day seven hundred and eighteen: Alternate Quinn doesn't know what to make of Jesse's departure.


_Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a 2nd cycle, and then a 3rd, 4th, etc through 34th cycle. Now cycle 35!_

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><p><strong>YEAR TWO ANNIVERSARY CYCLE!<strong> - Within days it will have been two years since I've started this Gleekathon, and like last year I'm dedicating the cycle to commemorating my 21 favorite one shots or chapter stories from year two (up to the point where I did the planning ;)) A number of those I was very attached to, but left sad to see may have fallen through the cracks, so it seems fair they should get a second shot ;)

Last year there were three categories, but this year I've added two new ones: **Prequel**, **Sequel**, **POV Swap**, and now **Alternate Ending**, and **Additional Scenes**. In no particular order... **Today's story** is a Prequel to #486 "The Original Outshines the Opposite Order" _a Berry-St series story originally posted on February 19th 2011._

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><p><strong>"Not For Nothing"<br>AU!Quinn, Rachel & Jesse  
>Extra to Berry-St<strong>

She tried to keep up with everyone else, keep practicing with the rest of the club, but… They might have been able to overlook his absence, but it was glaringly obvious to her. Part of it was that she missed him… part of hit was that she worried – about the new girl. She didn't want to play the jealous girlfriend, but she had always been observant and she saw… something. The way they went together, she didn't know… Some part of it didn't feel right.

Maybe she was making it up… Maybe she was just scared, to lose him. He'd gone and caught her by surprise, and what was she supposed to do? By the time she'd gone and had her eyes opened to it, she was already a goner. She knew what it meant, for her and Finn, and she felt bad… of course she did, how could she not? In the end she knew they hadn't handled it as well as they should… The best would have been to not cheat on her boyfriend, and heaven knew she tried… No matter how she turned it around though, she'd done him wrong, she'd messed up… Was she being punished for it now? Or was her head playing tricks on her, shoving these feelings down her throat to make her feel bad for… something, somehow… Jesse had been like this musically nerdy perfect kind of angel dropped into her world, and she never would have imagined he would do this to her, but then… people weren't always who they seemed to be… she knew she wasn't, for better or worse.

How well did she really know him? She thought she did. She thought she knew exactly who he was, and now that they were together, everything would work out… what if it didn't? She'd been blindsided before. It kind of made sense, didn't it? Why on earth would Rachel Berry, the lead cannon on the battleship Vocal Adrenaline, suddenly drop everything and move to Lima, Ohio, joining a rival club? She had very little faith in coincidence, and it just didn't add up. The scarier part was that if she moved Jesse into the picture, then new lines formed, smoothed the rough edges of her scenario.

He'd been acting strange, these last few days, and then all of a sudden, this new girl shows up and he runs off with her right away? Who did he think he was fooling? Certainly not her. Oh, but… no… not Jesse, he couldn't, he…

"Quinn? Are you alright?" She startled and looked up to find Mr. Schuester standing in front of her. She blinked, considered her options, then forced a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I… I think I need some air, if that's alright?"

"Sure, of course. Do you need someone to go with you?" he put a hand to her shoulder.

"No, really, it's okay, I swear," she nodded, extracting herself and moving down to the aisle. She walked carefully, not wanting to look too desperate. Already she certainly saw herself that way.

She wasn't planning to go and try to find them, not at first. All she needed was a moment to collect herself and then she could go back in there, wait for him to return, no sweat, no… Maybe he was just going to show her around. He was a good guy, a… a great guy, he could just be showing hospitality, getting the girl to trust them, considering where she'd come from. That seemed plausible, and for a moment she kind of believed it, thought about going back into the auditorium…

But she just had to be sure. It would just take a minute, and she'd know, and she could put her mind to rest. Just one moment, and things could go back to normal… yes…

She moved away from the auditorium, unsure where to go. She took one direction, just because she had to pick one. She scanned the halls, looked into classrooms… so far nothing… She was almost happier to come up empty. She passed the library, she… Coming to a stop, she took a breath – it's what she'd do… She took a couple of steps back, looked to the window in the door, not through it. The place was dark, but she knew this was it. All she had to do was look inside… but there was fear again, fear for what she'd find. 'Just take a look, see you're wrong, go back to the auditorium, then when he comes back just hold him and…'

She could see feet… They were sitting, side by side against one of the stacks. She closed her eyes – he wasn't giving a tour… Now all the 'what ifs' were choking her, leaving only place for fear, barely contained anger… She took a step back, trying to put her thoughts back in order. What was she going to do? Confront him… them… Walk away… She couldn't make herself walk away.

This couldn't happen, not now, not when they were just starting… Was any of it real? Had this been going on all along? Her heart just felt displaced, shooting left, right, up, down, like in some pinball machine. She was going to be strong, and face him, and…

The doors opened and she looked up just as stepped into the hall and froze. His eyes showed it all – he was caught, doing something he knew would get him in trouble if she were to find out. Her own face didn't know how to show any emotion except perhaps 'upset' – she wasn't going to let him see tears, especially when she stepped out next. Whatever was going on between those two, she was going to get to the bottom of it… even if it meant her own heart breaking into a million pieces.

THE END

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><p><strong>AN: This is a one-shot ficlet, which means that signing up for story alert will not bring you any alerts.  
><strong>**In the event of a sequel, the story will be separate from this one. And as chapter stories go, they are  
><strong>******always clearly indicated as such [ex: "Days 204-210" in the summary] Thank you!******


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